The cuz.

My cousin arrived in Australia.

She will be commencing her post-graduate studies in ripping your soul out through your wallet law this year.

Seems odd that she will be studying law.

She’s a nice girl.

Very nice.

Nauseatingly nice.

So my father, in his infinite wisdom, suggests she stay with me for a while.

*slaps head with hand*

He says, “You two were so close when you were little”

We were?

Why do parents have a selective memory about these things?

I didn’t actively dislike the girl.

But playing dollies, tea parties, and ringa-ringa- rosey (or whatever it’s called) did not fill me full of fun and friv.

The first thing she says to me is, “You’ve changed so much”

Well duh, I would hope I look a wee bit different to when I was nine years old.

And then she says, “You sound so Australian”

That did fill my heart with joy. I do fight very hard to lose the remaining remnants of the Eurotrash accent.

She does have this annoying habit of wanting to speak in her native language, even though she is fluent in English.

*grumble*

“Wonderland” can understand the weird ass language, but has difficulties speaking it.

She was a teeny wee thing when we arrived here.

She’s an Aussie, through and through.

Cuz speaks to her and “Wonderland” has a vacant expression on her face and just about mutilates her squeeze ball.

Cuz gets offended that “Wonderland” won’t look at her.

Heh, she’ll get used to it. “Wonderland” won’t change to accommodate her.

The other thing she will HAVE to get used to is…

knocking on people’s bedroom doors.

She had the best of  intentions, I suppose.

I arrive home from work, consume my own body weight in coffee and retire to my room.

I call ‘The Bunny’

Just hum quietly to yourselves for a while *sniggers*

And then…

The bedroom door bursts open and the cuz is freaking out.

Apparently she thinks I’m in pain.

Well, I was after I fell off the bed in fright.

And partially deafened by ‘The Bunny’ screaming, “how’s her fucking timing?”

“Wonderland” is still giggling.

The cuz is traumatised.

And I’m deeply frustrated.

‘The Bunny’ is still grumbling.

You gotta love families.