Whimsical nothingness. ‘Cause I have writers block.
This is a whole load of whimsical nothingness.
Bits and pieces of catch up and answering odd questions.
Bettina asked me if my boots were similar to the kick ass fireperson booties she wears. Bettina posted a pic of hers, here.
Here’s mine, babe.
They kick hard. 
Yeah, I know they look putrid.
They end up with all sorts of bodily fluids on them every night.
I want everyone to go and heap lots of sympathy on Bettina.
Her ever so cute, but fucking idiotic, sniggering, asshat hubby; more commonly known as the PINK SHIRTED LOVE SLAVE (PSLS) is finding amusement in Bettina’s current run in with an axe. An axe the PSLS screwed up in the first place.
Although, knowing my dear sadistic Bettina… PSLS is going to suffer something wicked.
Gotta love a girl that is vicious to the core.
I’m wondering how the stupid asshat who tried to sell an overpriced vacuum cleaner is feeling after your drug-fucked rant? *sniggers*
And whilst I was sniggering to myself about your run in with the Kirby salesman.
Maybe if the dude was selling something like this, you could have been more interested.
I wonder if it beats, while it sweeps, while it cleans?
If it does, and chops wood, the PSLS could find himself having some lonely nights.
May 25, 2008 at 10:07 pm
I tried to convince Too to get a pair of boots like that. They would totally suit her and I am sick to death of her wearing Connies all the time.
May 25, 2008 at 10:24 pm
I want an Armadildo! But can I get one with an AC adaptor???
May 25, 2008 at 10:26 pm
whisical nothing is good now and again hon…
love the boots! could whup some ass with them!!!
May 25, 2008 at 11:09 pm
OMG…The bit about the boots ending up with all sorts of bodily fluids on them every night made me go “Eeeeeew!”, then “Kewl! She’s a paramedic”, then “Wow! She’s a hooker!”.
May 25, 2008 at 11:42 pm
LMAO Our Dr Frosty is a paramedic hooker wearing Doc martins!
PSLS is paying. So far today he has had my mother hit him over the head with a newspaper, scold him in front of dad and tell him in no uncertain terms to make sure he has plenty of wood chopped for me AT ALL TIMES.
I’ve made him clean the house, cook lunch for my family, bake cakes, make me bacon and egg muffins, play nintendo and play cards with me.
Then I made him change the dressing on my foot while I flinched and swore at him every five seconds (not cos he was hurting me, just to make him think he was).
And I’ve got all day tomorrow to plot……………. *snicker*
May 26, 2008 at 2:00 am
Awesome Pic. It also Reminds me of a link that I have. Hmm, perhaps I shall post it.
May 26, 2008 at 8:28 am
lol, at B.
MAKE HIM PAY !!!! MAKE HIM PAY!!!!
LOVE the boots. I keep saying I will buy a pair as I hear they are ultra comfortable.
May 26, 2008 at 9:02 am
She of the sexy heels: Talk Too into getting some. The buggers last for years. They are as comfortable as all get out.
Trisha: I dunno if you can get the ‘apparatus’ in AC. I would check, though.
Anonymum: The mind is a bit flat, I’m afraid. I haven’t had a decent thought run through this vacuous mind for days.
Suze: Those boots end up covered with copious amounts of blood, urine, vomit, sometimes petroleum products, and all forms of chemical gunk on a nightly basis. Sadly, I’m not attractive enough to be a hooker. Sometimes I think it would be a more uplifting profession.
Bettina: PSLS is paying? FARKIN’ EXCELLENT. ‘Tis a good thing the dopey asshat is good looking or I would be advising a trade in.
Evyl: Your power tool, as shown at your place, is a must for every home.
WS: Honey, for the DMs would be perfect for where you live. Pig shit proof, cold proof, and hubby reminders of extraordinary quality.
May 26, 2008 at 11:57 am
Love the boots , bodily fluids and all
May 26, 2008 at 12:41 pm
Do you ever wear pretty shoes?
May 26, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Thanks, Jayne.
Define pretty, Kandis.
May 27, 2008 at 11:33 am
*drooooool*
I love docs. Love ‘em with a passion. Especially the very rare vegan docs. But I don’t have a pair yet. One day…
May 28, 2008 at 9:29 am
oh I’d say that by pretty she means dainty and impractical
Don’t ya know that women in boots aren’t feminine?
May 28, 2008 at 11:38 am
Couldn’t cope without my boots, Naomi.
Heh, I can just see me doing night shift in a strappy pair of bimbo heels, or whatever the religious right deems appropriate for ‘ladies’ to wear. That’s right, B… there’s no farkin’ way we could be feminine because we wear boots.
Geez, Kandis… what you think is pretty would probably make me barf my cookies.
May 28, 2008 at 12:32 pm
I don’t mind ‘pretty’ now and then. When the occasion actually suits it. But then I like men to look ‘pretty’ on those occasions too.
Anja – I have a pair of Planet Shoes boots which, though being nowhere near docs, have the same sort of effect on people.
May 28, 2008 at 1:16 pm
I don’t know, they might be quite pretty at the end of your nightly activities.
…… Pretty yuck at least!
Practical over pretty wins in so many cases. Like when you have sore axe broken toes, I’m thinking fur-lined crocs just might be the go. No?? LOL
May 30, 2008 at 1:19 pm
:O
You dared suggest that here too!! quick!! someone catch Kelley before she faints!!
May 30, 2008 at 1:22 pm
[...] just in case they take a break from the birthday bonking madness, you’d best all head over to her blog to wish him a very happy bunny birthday! …………………. and [...]
May 30, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Bonky Birthday to Bunny
Bonky Birthday to Bunny
Bonky Birthday to Parsnip Periwinkle Fluffy Bunny
Bonky Birthday to You!!
May 30, 2008 at 1:58 pm
donuts are good.
May 30, 2008 at 2:29 pm
How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.
May 30, 2008 at 2:29 pm
How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.
May 30, 2008 at 2:29 pm
How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path
May 30, 2008 at 2:30 pm
How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.
May 30, 2008 at 2:30 pm
What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!
May 30, 2008 at 2:30 pm
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid’s
May 30, 2008 at 2:31 pm
What Do You Call Santa’s Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
May 30, 2008 at 2:31 pm
What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.
May 30, 2008 at 2:31 pm
What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.
May 30, 2008 at 2:31 pm
What’s The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef
May 30, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him
May 30, 2008 at 2:32 pm
What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
May 30, 2008 at 2:32 pm
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
May 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm
What dog keeps the best time?
A watch dog.
May 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm
What did the water say to the boat?
Nothing, it just waved.
May 30, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts.
May 30, 2008 at 2:34 pm
What do you call a surgeon with eight arms?
A doctopus!
May 30, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Which month do soldiers hate most?
The Month of March!!
May 30, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the boat it sank — proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
May 30, 2008 at 2:37 pm
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He sidles up to the bar and announces: “I’m lookin’ for the man who shot my paw.”
May 30, 2008 at 2:38 pm
When she told me I was average she was just being mean.
May 30, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Two molecules are walking down the street and they run in to each other.
One says to the other, “Are you all right?”
“No, I lost an electron!”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m positive!”
May 30, 2008 at 2:39 pm
There was a man who entered a local paper’s pun contest. He sent in ten
different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately… no pun in ten did.
May 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm
What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho Cheese.
May 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm
What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
May 30, 2008 at 2:40 pm
What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out
of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.
May 30, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
May 30, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They’re trying to get away from the noise.
May 30, 2008 at 2:41 pm
What do you get when you cross a pit bull with a collie?
A dog that runs for help … after it bites your leg off.
May 30, 2008 at 2:42 pm
they all remind me…..
May 30, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Why did the plane crash??
May 30, 2008 at 2:43 pm
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
“My dog’s cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” says the vet, “let’s have a look at him”
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he’s cross-eyed? ”
“No, because he’s really heavy”
May 30, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Cos the pilot was a tomato
May 30, 2008 at 2:48 pm
why did the koala fall out of the tree?
cos he was asleep
May 30, 2008 at 2:48 pm
why did the second koala fall out of the tree?
he was hanging on the first one
May 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm
why did the third koala fall out of the tree???
………thought it was a game
May 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm
why did the pool table fall out of the tree?
May 30, 2008 at 2:49 pm
cos it was a fridge
May 30, 2008 at 3:04 pm
and I thought mine were bad!!! lmao
May 30, 2008 at 3:55 pm
Hoppy boing boing to you
Hoppy boing boing to you
Hoppy boing boing dear bunny
Hoppy boing boing to you.
May 30, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Hope the birthday dinner went well.
Did you have dessert ???
May 30, 2008 at 9:56 pm
Was it chocolate covered ??
May 30, 2008 at 10:51 pm
chocolate dipped?
May 31, 2008 at 12:40 am
hehehehehe I wondered which post it was going to be… Hi anja.. *looks innocent*
May 31, 2008 at 12:42 am
How do you know when a Blonde has been making choc chip cookies?
there are M & M shells on the floor
May 31, 2008 at 12:57 am
what do you call a bloke who likes to ‘work out’??
Jim
May 31, 2008 at 12:58 am
what do you call A woman with one leg?
Eileen
May 31, 2008 at 12:59 am
what do you call a boy hanging on the wall??
Art
May 31, 2008 at 12:59 am
…… a girl with a frog on her head?
Lily
May 31, 2008 at 1:00 am
…… a man with a car on his head?
Jack
May 31, 2008 at 1:00 am
….. a man with rabbits in his trousers?
Warren
May 31, 2008 at 1:01 am
……a man with a shovel
Doug
May 31, 2008 at 1:02 am
…… a man who has lost his shovel
dougless
May 31, 2008 at 1:02 am
… a man who owes money???
Bill
May 31, 2008 at 1:03 am
….. a woman in the distance??
Dot
May 31, 2008 at 1:04 am
etc etc etc etc
May 31, 2008 at 6:48 am
Love the jokes.
Hope you had a nice sleep Anja and aren’t feeling too shagged this morning.
**Snigger snigger**
May 31, 2008 at 12:17 pm
and stay off the carpet!
*snigger*
May 31, 2008 at 12:19 pm
When a son said that his ambition was to drive an army tank his father said ‘I won’t stand in your way’.
May 31, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
May 31, 2008 at 12:19 pm
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
May 31, 2008 at 12:19 pm
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
May 31, 2008 at 12:20 pm
He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
May 31, 2008 at 12:20 pm
There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said ‘Keep off the Grass’.
May 31, 2008 at 12:20 pm
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
May 31, 2008 at 12:20 pm
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said ‘No change yet’.
May 31, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
May 31, 2008 at 12:21 pm
A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
May 31, 2008 at 12:21 pm
What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing – but it let out a little whine.
May 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm
When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
May 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm
There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.
May 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
May 31, 2008 at 12:22 pm
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
May 31, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
May 31, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
May 31, 2008 at 12:23 pm
A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired.
May 31, 2008 at 12:23 pm
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
May 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
May 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm
The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
May 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
May 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm
What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead giveaway).
May 31, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, ‘You stay here, I’ll go on a head.’.
May 31, 2008 at 1:16 pm
Oh dear bettina..
May 31, 2008 at 1:18 pm
knock knock
who’s there
tish
tish who
thank you
May 31, 2008 at 1:19 pm
ooops i just buggered up a knock knock joke… *doh*
May 31, 2008 at 1:19 pm
knock knock
who’s there
Tish
tish who
bless you
thank you
May 31, 2008 at 1:20 pm
there that’s better.
May 31, 2008 at 1:21 pm
what did one coin say to another?
We make perfect cents
May 31, 2008 at 1:23 pm
did you hear about the dyslexic Devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa..
May 31, 2008 at 7:03 pm
**GROAN**
**GROAN GROAN**
**GROAN GROAN GROAN**
May 31, 2008 at 7:05 pm
What’s brown and sticky?
A brown stick.
May 31, 2008 at 9:35 pm
LOL @ Widdleshamrock
May 31, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I have just found a book called 1001 cool jokes..
May 31, 2008 at 9:37 pm
1. what do you get when you cross an elephant with a fish?
Swimming trunks
May 31, 2008 at 9:38 pm
2. What happened when the dog went to the flea circus?
he stole the show
May 31, 2008 at 9:39 pm
*sighs* i need a new joke book..
June 1, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I think we have that cool jokes book.
June 1, 2008 at 1:57 pm
Heard about Salman Rushdie’s sequels to “Satanic Verses”?
1) Buddha, you Fat Fecking Bastard,
2) Jesus was a Lousy Carpenter.
June 1, 2008 at 1:59 pm
The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract
and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering
trying to establish a relationship instead of just a one night
stand. But he couldn’t help but wonder why she wasn’t already
in one.
“I can’t help feeling that we’ve met before.” he said.
“Yeah, I know.” sighed the girl stretching. “It happens to me
a lot. I think they call this ‘deja screw’.
June 1, 2008 at 1:59 pm
A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were
asked if they would ever sleep with President
Clinton. 60% said, ‘Never again!’
June 1, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Do you know why single women can’t fart?
Because, they don’t get assholes until they get married.
June 1, 2008 at 2:01 pm
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
A stick.
June 1, 2008 at 2:02 pm
How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
From a catalogue.
June 1, 2008 at 2:41 pm
Ok ladies, you’re officially nuts. *sniggers*
Buddha, you Fat Fucking Bastard. That’s fucking brilliant.
June 21, 2008 at 8:12 am
Somehow i missed the point. Probably lost in translation
Anyway … nice blog to visit.
cheers, Overprotective